Getting through airport security is simply no fun, especially when you’re a full-busted gal. My bra has set off airport metal detectors many times. The first time, I thought it was pretty funny — until I was treated to a full-body “pat down” by the fine folks of TSA.
I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure men pay good money at “massage parlours” for the kind of pat down I have received on occasion at the airport. I’ve had my most private parts groped and touched — all in the name of national security. On some level, I understand the need to protect our country. On another, I have never felt so helpless as when I’ve been forced to endure these invasive procedures – sometimes out in the open, in front of my children.
Last time, I vowed never again. I swore I would whip off my bra and put it through the scanner before being treated to another TSA reacharound.
I’ve had a couple false alarms, including one time when I almost took a stand…only to realize that my phone was still in my back pocket. Uh, oops.
Yesterday, however, the bell tolled for me. Yup, my lovely Chantelle bra set off the detector. I immediately reached around to unclasp my bra — to the horror of the TSA agent. “Why not?” I asked, I mean…you can take off your watch and try again, why not your bra?? A supervisor was called over. The line stopped. Nobody was allowed through security. The crowds were NOT pleased.
By the time she arrived, my bra was off and heading through the conveyor, like the glove in the Laverne & Shirley opening credits. The original agent seemed sure she was thwarting the bra bomber, but the supervisor merely shrugged – let’s see if it worked.
I sailed through security, breasts bouncing and head held high. Without a backward glance, I collected my bra and suitcase…and immediately found the nearest bathroom to reharness the girls.
I’m not trying to cause a problem or obstruct TSA’s job in any way. I just want the same opportunity to address my metal garment as everyone else gets for belts, watches, etc. Not special treatment — the same treatment.
I feel empowered, and confident that I was able to meet both TSA’s needs and my own. You know what? If necessary, I’ll do it again.